One way ticket

Me. Something else or someone else. So many times one of these fits in. The amount of times I wish I could just buy a one way ticket to escape and not come back. Or to escape from something or someone else.  So maybe actually. Instead of sending another away I should just always send me? That way I escape either way. Right?

If only so simple. What about me escaping me. What about if there was the ability to escape our minds permanently. Or pain or tiredness. And no. I don’t mean just start taking or smoking drugs. That’s not what I’m getting at.

If someone said here’s a one way ticket for anything or anyone. Would you want to use it? What would you choose? I know I’d want to use it. But for what? So let’s prioritise.

  • Pain – as a fibromyalgia sufferer with spinal issues – pain is something I experience every day and only it’s severity varies. Would I want to send that on its way. YES! Of course! I’d love to be pain free. I’d love to be able to make plans and stick to them and do things I used to do. **Now I know I am not worse off and I know there are so many worse than me. So please no one take this like that.** 
  • Mental health – many things over the years have lead to many mental health issues. I’ve had many counselling/psychotherapy etc and I still struggle. Of course. I would love to send my mental health issues and paranoia away on a one way ticket.
  •  Me – Maybe leaving everything and removing myself from the situation – being my day to day life and starting over – trouble here is – I am then removing my self and taking the same issues to somewhere else.
  • Send other people: There’s way to many people I would send on a one way ticket but that list would be never ending.

One way ticket…. not as easy as it sounds. 

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How are you?

A question always asked. But how do you really answer it? 

I’m ok? I’m alrite? Yea good thanks?

Do you completely ignore it and ask in return?

Or do you actually answer exactly how you are? 

My entire life has always been the first ones. Yea ok, alrite ta etc. It’s been a real challenge to actually answer the question honestly. And to be honest most conversations still get that answer. A few people know that’s my default and will push me further – and I always try to keep that answer strong. Some people know me and will push for an actual answer. But why do we not answer honestly from the start? Why do we feel the need to hide. 

Is it denial? Is it not wanting to let people in? Is it because we think it’s weakness? Is it because it will make it real? Or make us insecure? Is it because we think the other person has enough going on, or maybe they have only asked because it’s the done thing? 

What about. Maybe. Just maybe they asked because they actually care and want to know how you are. Your best friend, partner or even a complete stranger.

 So next time you get asked. Think about how you’re going to answer. What have you got to loose?

When do you feel Human.

What does that even mean?

Feeling ‘normal’ whats that? How can that even be defined. We are all so different. Yet – the function of the human body is based on an original mould. Through time – not everyone functions the same. Not everyone’s lungs work properly, or heart or arms or legs. So how can we possibly say it’s normal? What is?

Everyday we feel different. And I guess we feel very different now – to perhaps how humans felt many years ago. The many strains and pressures on us. The many things we do with our body that perhaps it wasn’t designed for. It wasn’t designed for sitting in-front of computers or operating small devises repeatedly with our fingers. Yet that what we all do. Right now. Phone, laptop, tablet.

No wander there is such a strain on the health system. We keep inventing things that are damaging us and putting more strain onto everything. Yet we keep doing it. We have to move on with the world. But maybe we need to stop. Look back and go back. Simplify.

I think we’ve gotten to complicated.